Reported by: FizzyFizz
This morning while I was looking at the LIVENOW page on BLOGTV I saw a name I could of sworn I was told I would never see again. That’s right folks the one and only Von Helton is still broadcasting. Why you ask? We are not quite sure but we have our theories.
One theory is because he is honestly worried about our safety and our country. Von wants to protect us from those reptilians and aliens. He wants to keep our children safe and make sure that nobody gets kidnapped. His way of helping us is by broadcasting a show and giving us as much information as he can. One tiny problem there Mr. Von. About half of the people who watch you are teenagers and they are in your show because they are stoned out of their mind or tripping on shrooms. The things you are telling them would obviously make sense. That is until the high wears of and then they will wonder what you are on.
Theory number two is the fact that maybe Von is looking for love. Like most people these days the internet is a great hook up but of course that’s only if you like a surprise. You may think you know the person until the day you meet them and well…. They themselves might be a reptilian. Another thing, I don’t think young girls are turned on by a middle aged man who has guns galore and takes pictures of himself shirtless trying to show off muscles.
How does that song go again “Looking for love in all the wrong places”. Ah yes that’s it. Sorry Von but I don't think you'll find it here.
Well folks have no fear because Von Helton isn’t going anywhere but to private shows. So if you are worried about the Solar Storm or Reptilians stealing your kids he will love to give you some helpful tips.
Yep looks like Von just cant stay away. We lizards would like to see him go,but the urge to train humans about us is overwhelming him. Looks like we gona have to sting him.
ReplyDeleteLOL. went there once and i thought it sucked. oh well, that's what the big red X is for. sheesh.
ReplyDeleteNever got how a former orderly (remember what they do?) who has no teeth (not important for this new world order or food that will be grown?)with no income as I recall, is going to lead the world anywhere but right to the disability office. He has no problem collecting that check so he better hope the reptilians aren't going to take over. It won't be a question of food being restricted. His money will be gone. Can't buy those smokes which he depends on.
ReplyDeleteAnybody who tunes in for anything other than entertainment purposes is slightly sick. Did you see the alien autopsy video? What a freakin joke, and he acted like it was so real. He is a fake, and if he can't figure out the way his internet technology is running, no way can he lead the world. He depends on his service provider.
Go grey.
Nasty body. YEEECCCHHHH. He is GROSS
ReplyDeletehahaha poor guy lol
ReplyDelete